Saturday, 13 April 2013

Some Words to Tell You I Miss You (A Tribute to My Grandmother Lydia)



One ability I have always held in high regard is the ability to tell a good story. Few people know the magical combination that gives a story meaning; a rich tapestry of experience, genuine emotion and a way with words that is both poignant and uplifting. Storytellers are not born, but made; carved by years of trials and instances that leave a lasting imprint on their lives. My Grandmother was a woman with a life that lent itself well to telling stories. When I visited her for the last time in November, I remember she sat in her armchair in her pink dressing gown; small, but with such an undeniably commanding presence that it felt only natural to sit at her feet and wait for her to speak. Her voice was calm as she told me story after story; about her life, and the pain she had suffered, and the people she had lost. Not a trace of sadness was in her voice; she simply told me what had happened, accepting that life can often be painful and that in order to love others, we must be prepared to lose them. Grandma Lydia is one of the first people in my life who I have loved and lost; and while knowing that she is gone leaves an ache in my heart, having the opportunity to love her was well worth the pain of loss.

I first met my Grandmother when I was less than a month old. My mother, Julia, brought me to Oldham to meet her and Grandmother Lydia later repaid the favor by visiting us in London. There is one photo of our meeting. I am tiny and swaddled in a blanket, and my Grandmother holds me like a woman well-practiced at holding newborn children; four of her own, and countless others who called her their grandmother, great grandmother and even their great-great grandmother. It is oddly wonderful that this woman, who lost her own family at such a young age, became connected to the lives of so many. This was not without hardship. My Grandmother frequently reminded me that she started out with absolutely nothing. Born into poverty, she was forced to leave her family and flee to a foreign country; utterly alone in a place where no one spoke her language. She spoke often of how many of her brothers and sisters perished in her childhood; a particularly heart-breaking example being her little sister, who sat up early one morning, cried for her mother and then quietly passed away. They wrapped her in a shroud; made from some material Grandmother Lydia had been saving to make a new dress. She had begged for the material from one of her relatives and never got to do anything with it, as the material went with her little sister into her grave.

There are so many more stories Grandmother Lydia had, each one of which were capable of breaking your heart in two, but this one in particular stuck out to me. This one gave a glimpse into my grandmother’s life as a young girl; a girl who wanted so little, and throughout her life would never have much. However, this never made her bitter. My Grandmother took each hurdle in her life with a grace and serenity rarely seen in our impatient human race. What she experienced would be enough to send an ordinary person reeling; but instead, she internalized any pain she felt and kept on going. Through countless periods of grief, hurt and difficulty, she worked three jobs to feed her family; using every last reserve of her energy to keep them fed and clothed. She sacrificed her time and energy to make others happy, and in her old age, was finally given an opportunity to be looked after by the ones who loved her so dearly. This may have been the only time in my grandmother’s life where she was given a chance to rest. For a woman who gave up so much to give to other people, it is only fitting that we all gave her something back; a loving family, who she treasured above all else.

If you ever needed proof of how much Grandma Lydia loved us all, you would only need to go to her home and look at the many pictures on her walls. In her living room there are countless smiling, familiar faces; the faces of the people who were dear to her, right until the very end. Whenever I visited, we would go through more photos together; kept in old boxes on top of her wardrobe. Pictures of my mother’s first wedding, of my Auntie Linda and Uncle Tony in their early twenties, of Alan in his Boy George phase and countless photos of her grandchildren, sent to her by their loving parents. That she still went through those photos after having them for so many years says a lot about how important we were to her; as does the way she always told me to take care of my mother and father, or how she ended every phone call with “God bless”. For Lydia, nothing was more important than her family, and it is only right that now she is gone, we have come together to celebrate her life.

Grandmother Lydia was a woman of great strength; and without that strength, so many of us would not be here. There were many times in her life where she faced horrors that are too great to be imagined; but she survived against all odds and made a new life for herself. My Grandmother began her life surrounded by death, but rose above the pain and desperation, waging her own private war with the world beginning at the tender age of ten. It is only fitting that she passed away surrounded by life, leaving peacefully in the midst of a group of people that loved her dearly.

There is one lesson Grandma Lydia imparted upon me with her countless stories; something that should never be forgotten, because it is crucially important to living a life that is good and whole. That lesson is that no matter what a person may suffer, they should strive to love the ones around them unconditionally and without bitterness. My Grandmother, despite how much she suffered, tried to see the good in everyone. She never judged, or spoke to me in anger. She simply let me know that I was loved, and I’m sure she did the same to everyone around her. If more people could approach life and love with the same grace and dignity as my grandmother, the world would be a much brighter, understanding place.  She was a perfect human being and the centre of our family, and although it breaks my heart that she’s gone, her love will never leave me. 


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